From the Zebra Bag   Musings from a follower of Jesus, husband , father and pastor

It’s strange when somehow, over time, words take on totally new meanings. Who knew that being “sick” would become something to be desired and to be “lit” would be a compliment. This phenomenon struck again for me this week when a number of people posted an article on FaceBook entitled “Gaslighting. ” Much more significant, however, than the new meaning for the term, was the content of the article which I encourage you all to read.

Yesterday we heard the first reports of conversations between governors here on the West Coast about beginning to release the SIP restrictions. Of course, so much of me longs for the chance to kiss my grandchildren, hug the girls and be reunited face to face with our wonderful church family. I have missed their physical presence so much. 

However, no matter how hard I try, I cannot avoid a little voice inside that is screaming, “Not yet. I am not ready!” This has nothing to do with the the virus and I will rejoice with everyone as soon as the pain and bereavement of so many begins to subside. No, this is because I am already sensing the rumbling in the distance of a freight train that these circumstances have allowed us to step off. I am not sure if I have any idea how I can prevent myself getting back on that speeding train. 

My observation of the past few weeks has persuaded me that this freight train is, unbeknown to us all, hurtling towards oblivion. I believe we have been given an opportunity to step off the train, to see blue skies, experience our earth breathing and take some time to think about the things that really matter. There are reports that churches of all sizes are experiencing increased attendance, (“online” of course).  Could it be that our circumstances are causing people to wonder if we really control the universe as we thought?

I am praying with a greater degree of urgency than ever, that God will show us how to stop ourselves from getting back on the train. That He would give us the courage to resist the drive to re create a “normal”  that will only restore the frantic paced confusion of the past.

I recently had the privilege of hearing a message from Jill Briscoe a wonderful preacher, poet, disciple-maker and pastor’s wife. During the message she shares this poem about how God met her at a time when she needed Him most. I want to share it with you as I believe it holds some clues to where we each need to go as we search for these answers.  

I ran to the deep place where nobody goes and found Him waiting there.
“Where have you been?” He asked me.
“I’ve been in the shallow places where everyone lives,” I replied. 
I knew He knew. He just wanted me to admit I’d been too busy being busy. I’m running out…” I began.
“Of course,” He said. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
He sat down on the steps of my soul in the Deep Place where nobody goes and smiled at me. Angels sang; a shaft of light chased away the shadows and brightened my daily day. I smiled back.        
 “I’m such a fool…”
“Shhh,” He said, putting His finger on my lips. 
He touched my hurried heart.
 Startled, it took a deep breath and skidded to a near stop. My spirit nestled in to nearness in the Deep Place where nobody goes. 
My soul spoke, then: He answered with words beyond music. Where on earth had I been while heaven waited? Such grace!